March 5, 2014
By: Linda Case Gibbons
We heard the word "amateur” used liberally this week to describe U.S. leaders. Hagel, Kerry, Obama and Hillary Clinton with her "Reset” button showed us what amateurism looks like close up and what it has done to our country’s standing in the world.
Their response to Putin’s invasion of Ukraine and Crimea made the rest of the world laugh at our country, not cringe in fear. Anyone, anywhere could spot the arrogance and the lack of foreign policy savvy in our leaders. Couple that with indifference and you have a political cocktail second to none.
But there was another news story along those lines this week that didn’t get much coverage. It was about Huffing and Puffing. When you should. And when you shouldn’t.
The story took place in "Storyland,” a community in America. It was about Three Pigs, upstanding members of their community and an overreaching government bigwig.
The bigwig’s name was Wolf and he was the head honcho.
Wolf thought he was super cool, and the press did, too. He pressed flesh with college kids, played basketball. He had a really cool ringtone that played Aretha’s RSPECT, and he said "folks” and "stuff” a lot just to show he was one of the people.
The biggest problem was that Wolf was a bit of a bully, mostly to his own citizens. "Huffing and Puffing” was his specialty, but without any follow up.
If the occasion demanded it, such as unrest in Syria or invasion of Ukraine, he would, to quote Lt. Col. Oliver North, draw his red line, but with a pink crayon.
He used tactics that seemed unfair to the people in Storyland, especially these three pigs. He spied on all of the animals, targeted them and kept track of their every movement. It made them very nervous.
But they were told, "The government is allowed to do this.” "It is the law of the land unless I say it isn’t,” Wolf said. "These laws” he explained were "for their own good” and were designed to "keep them safe from terrorists.”
What could the pigs do? They had been raised to respect authority.
As piglets these boys lived happily with their parents, squealing and playing in the mud like normal piggies do.
Their daddy taught his boys fisticuffs so they would know how to defend themselves appropriately. Wolf never was taught to do that.
Their mommy taught them to tell the truth and take responsibility for what they did. Wolf never was taught to do that.
And both parents made sure their little piggies knew they should work hard and not expect something for nothing. Wolf preferred vacationing, playing golf and giving people things for free.
After they were all grown up, all three pigs went out to seek their fortunes.
They didn’t get the jobs they had their hearts set on because there weren’t many jobs around. In fact unemployment was over 12 percent. But they made the best of it.
One got a job as a manager at a coal mine and set about paying off his college loan at Livestock University.
Another joined the Army so he could defend his country. He knew he could count on his government to respect his service and give him the pension and medical care he had earned in battle when he came back as a veteran.
The Third started his own business, rarely took a vacation and drove a Cadillac.
These fine citizens believed in the American Dream, worked hard and saved their pennies. But for about five years, exactly the amount of time Wolf was running things, they found that they were always afraid and spent many a restless night, tossing and turning in their little piggy beds.
They were afraid -- of the bad job market, the faltering status of their country in the world’s eye, but mostly they feared what the future would hold. And their fears were well-founded.
Being letter-of-the-law animals they did what they were supposed to do. They paid their taxes, but found that since they were middle class pigs, they were expected to pay the lion’s share of taxes, taxes that kept climbing as their government spent and spent and added more and more entitlements.
That concerned them. They feared that their government was running amok.
Soon many new environmental regulations were passed regarding housing, light bulbs, auto emissions and lots of other things. When it came time for the boys to move out on their own, they chose houses that they liked. They chose ones they wanted, but still they were afraid. Maybe their houses wouldn’t meet the new regulations, they thought.
And their fears were well founded.
Wolf loved environmental stuff. In fact one of Wolf’s new incentives was, no, not jobs, but environmental regulations. One of them was tackling all houses that didn’t conform to the new environmental laws in effect in all 57 states. (There weren’t really 57 states, but Wolf didn’t know that. In fact, he wasn’t really "up” on the country’s history at all.)
And the boys’ worst fears were realized. Their houses were declared non-conforming just like their health insurance policies had been.
"Straw? No way!” Wolf said, then huffed and puffed and blew First Piggie’s house down until nothing was left but the chiminey.
He did the same thing to Second Piggie’s house. It was made of wood, but Wolf was a pretty good blow hard and the house was soon a pile of rubble.
Third Piggie made out okay. He chose brick, but curiously after he and the house survived, the government took an even closer look at the house, especially the Piggies living inside it and had questions about that Cadillac.
Things went from bad to worse for the boys, but Wolf said the pigs’ tales of woe were a pack of lies.
After First Piggie lost his house, he also lost his job when Wolf closed down the coal mine where he worked. It was good for the country, Wolf said.
Second Piggy came back from Afghanistan an injured war hero, but soon found that the Veterans Administration had "lost" his medical records and that his pension was in jeopardy because of recent military spending cuts.
Third Piggie didn't fare much better. He had started his own business making guitars and was hitting it out of the park! The business grew and grew to 51 employees.
Good thing? Not really. He couldn’t afford the Storylandhealthcare plan he had to carry, plus he kept getting visits from various Storyland agencies to check his licenses, audit his books, that sort of thing.
In the end he lost his business and his employees all lost their jobs.
Crushed and defeated, the Piggies had to move back in with mom and dad.
"Is this the way Storyland is supposed to be?” they asked.
But they were good citizens and still believed in supporting their elected animals, though just barely.
They were having their doubts that Wolf was as brilliant as everyone said he was. He was making mistakes right and left, then blaming other people or saying he didn’t know "Nothin’.”
The straw that broke the piggies’ backs was when, Lois Piggy, one of the animals in Wolf’s administration took the Fifth Amendment again and refused to answer the simplest of questions about the Tax-Collecting-Storyland-Service.
The piggies were flabbergasted! The TCSS had come to Third Piggie’s company and audited him so he had a very personal connection to the story.
He felt he had been targeted unfairly, but Wolf said there wasn’t a "smidgen” of proof, just like he said citizens were liars when they told stories about their healthcare. Third Piggie was suspicious. And so was First and Second and their parents.
But what could any of them do? Well, these smart piggies did what brave citizens have done from time immemorial. They rallied. They kept the faith.
And they elected worthy leaders. Like there were in the old days. Like Winston Churchill.
On the anniversary of Winston Churchill’s "Iron Curtain Speech” the piggy family sat down and read the speech and were reminded of what a strong leader can mean as an encouragement to people who need encouragement in dark times.
In the Washington Times’ Charles Hurt wrote,
"But no more than 68 years ago today, when Winton Churchill traveled to Westminster College in Fulton, Mo., the world was recovering from World War II. Britain and the U.S. were still deeply grateful to Josef Stalin and the Soviet Union for helping stop Adolf Hitler and end the war.
"Despite his gratitude, Churchill delivered what came to be known as his ‘Iron Curtain’ speech, sounding the alarm on the chilling and devastating designs Stalin and the Soviet Empire had for Eastern Europe for decades to come.
"By any measure Churchill was powerless at that point to stop Stalin. All he had left was the greatest weapon Churchill ever had, even in the darkest moments of World War II: his uncompromising principles. Without that weapon he never would have vanquished evil fascism in Europe.”
Hold the line, America.