March 26, 2014
By: Linda Case Gibbons
In The Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Fourteen, a kingdom came into being by the name of Americaland.
Formerly called America, "A shining city upon the hill,” it was famous from sea to shining sea, from kingdom to kingdom to kingdom, from the Russian Kingdom, to the Chinese Kingdom, to the Iranian Kingdom.
You get the drift.
Not only was America well known, but it inspired great admiration among many, while at the same time a terrible resentment because of its exceptionalism.
Some of these "many” were foreign kingdoms, but sadly, among them were some of America’s own leaders.
Although it was the new kid on the block, being only 250 years old, the country was exceptional in every way among all the kingdoms of the world. Indeed, it was more than a piece of land, it was the manifestation of an idea.
However, in recent times, six years to be exact, America became the kingdom of which now I speak. Before that it had a Constitution and a president, the whole nine yards.
But, there came a time, six years to be exact, when the newest president said, "I like not the constraints that are placed upon me by this Constitution so I hereby reject them.” And it was done, for some agreed with the president. Not many, but some.
Why should he be constrained by human rights rules such as freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom to bear arms, freedom of the press, etcetera, etcetera, those people asked. Other kingdoms, such as the Kingdom of China didn’t force such constraints on their leaders and they are just fine. Right?
And the people said, "Wellllll…”
But the president’s supporters pressed the point. One in particular in Congress said, "This country has only been in existence for 400 years with its Constitution and all its burdensome laws which safeguard the people. Go for it, Sir!”
She wasn’t right about the 400-year thing, but POTUS (President of the United States), now King POTUS, smiled indulgently at her and carried on. He liked low-information supporters. They were the best!
He presented the facts for his kingdom, arguments that emphasized his vast knowledge of both domestic and foreign affairs and his exceptional smartness. And he promised all would be well.
So the people mulled. He did know all the lyrics to Beyonce’s extensive CD repertoire, they said, which was no easy task. In addition, he was profoundly dedicated to making sure his March Madness brackets were in on time. Budgets? Not so much, but because he devoted much time and energy to these other pursuits, it must follow that he would be okay to be king.
Their reasoning was flawed, but that’s the way it goes.
"Okey, dokey,” part of the electorate said (only part because POTUS' approval rating was somewhere in the thirties), "Do your stuff, King.”
And he did. And his wife did.
In March both of them headed out to travel internationally to spread the bad news about Americaland: Queen FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States) to China with her mom and kids in tow to celebrate Spring Break with the Chinese citizens, a noble holiday in both of their kingdoms and King POTUS to The Hague to tell Russian President Putin to stop it, that thing he was doing in Ukraine.
But before leaving, the Queen made it clear she would not discuss human rights on her trip. "Who needs it? It’s my vacation!” she was heard to say.
Well, she must have meant no Chinese human rights, but Americaland? Well, that was a different story.
And she set to it. She started off, as her husband and she always did, by lecturing, in this case to some Chinese high school students.
"Many decades ago there were actually laws in America that allowed discrimination against black people like me,” she told them, speaking slowly as she always did when lecturing those less smart than she, which was everyone.
Even though Americaland championed "the right to say what we think and worship as we choose," she added, Americalandians "still lived those ideals imperfectly.”
Ouch!
Some say it was silly of her to retell the story of Americaland’s history. The eyes of other kingdoms, especially those who resented Americaland, had been trained on it for lo these many years, and these kids knew the score.
They knew about the American Civil War and the freeing of the slaves by President Lincoln.
They knew about the American Civil Rights Movement and the valor and godliness of its leader, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., but, they thought, maybe the Queen didn’t know about these historical events.
By her words, they reflected, she seemed stuck in the news from 1860…or 1950. Why had she not updated her comments with the many good aspects of her country?
Now if Queen FLOTUS had told them about the famine that the Chinese people endured, the one their government didn’t tell them about, now that would have been news to them.
Or if she had asked them to discuss how bad things are for those Chinese citizens in punitive detention in China (about 500,000) without charge or trial, that would have been news to them.
But she did not open that can of worms. She was adamant. She would not talk about human rights. Not China’s.
Meanwhile back at the farm, the King was doing what he and his wife did best, lecturing, this time to the folks from NATO.
He poo-pooed Putin’s actions in the Ukraine. Russia was simply acting "out of weakness” and not strength in its annexation of Crimea from Ukraine, he said, some said naively.
And he laid down his red line – again -- warning, "It is up to Russia to act responsibly and show itself once again to be willing to abide by international norms and …if it fails to do so, there will be some costs.”
He blustered that annexing Crimea was not a "done deal” because it violated international law, which brought a guffaw from the crowd since they knew his man had never demonstrated any regard for his own country’s laws.
And he neglected to mention Putin’s secret weapon: FLOTUS AND POTUS themselves.
Putin could bank on the fact that every time either one of them opened their mouths, they would diminish their country’s standing in the eyes of the world. This was good, no, not for Americaland, but for all those other kingdoms, all those who drooled at the prospect of a weakened Americaland.
While POTUS talked…and talked, Russia took the opportunity to bring in 30,000 soldiers to stage "military training exercises” on the eastern Ukraine border.
And while FLOTUS and her entourage toured The Great Wall of China, local merchants were ordered by their government to temporarily suspend sales of the t-shirts they were peddling: Shirts with a picture of POTUS sporting a Mao hat.
So, after the lecturing and the spending, the bottom line is this: We paid for Michelle Obama’s trip to China and all we got was a lousy t-shirt, one that highlighted America’s discrimination to "people like her.”
And this shirt was worse than her last one. You remember. The one in 2008 which read, "For the first time in my adult life, I’m proud of my country.
I didn’t like that one, either.
Hold the line, America.