"When dictators feel their support slipping among adults, it is not unusual for them to alter school textbooks in the hope of enlisting impressionable youths in their cause.” Samantha Power
October 15, 2014
By: Linda Case Gibbons
It was very touching, the head of one of those gloomy Communist countries reaching out to our president.
At first Obama thought it was Kim Kardashian contacting him and was bummed out when he discovered it wasn’t. But when aides told him it was someone who had good things to say about him, Obama felt better. Just like when Gwyneth said he was so handsome.
He likes stuff like that.
The fact is President Obama needs every friend he can get these days. At this point in his administration, the only thing missing are locusts.
It was rumored that last week CBS ran a poll of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, you know, the Biblical guys signaling the end of the world? Asked their opinion of Obama’s performance with this country, they replied, "I got nothing, man.”
I think that means things are bad.
So it lifted my spirits to know that at least one person was willing to reach out to our president and give him an "attaboy.”
"I like this guy,” the man called Supreme Leader said about Obama. "He reminds me a lot of me.” Then the chubby, little leader laid out exactly what he liked about Obama and threw in a few pointers to help our president out.
"I like very much what you’re doing to your country. Since you seized the reins of power it looks much like my own country. And I am flattered that your style is so much like mine, I could swear you have copied it!
"I, like you, received great honors at a young age. I was made a four-star general for no real reason and you? You received the Nobel Peace Prize.
"In following your life, I was pleased to see that your student days and childhood were very unorthodox, drugs, associations with people of Communist leanings in your home.
"I think this to be a very strange background for an American president, but I approve. And besides, who am I to say what is unorthodox? My relatives are fond of throwing dissidents under tanks!
"But back to your strengths. I like that you never make a decision. Decisions! They are for the little people, not important people like us!
"You and I both have focused on educational and economic improvements in our countries, and I, like you, do nothing about them, but it sounds good. Like ‘infrastructure.’ I like it when you say that word. I think I’ll add that to my next speech.
"And the truth? Overrated! So I approve of your false messages and in the alternative, your silences.
"You never budged on Benghazi. You told a story that made the people feel good. And you never admitted fault. That is good in leaders such as we are. The people should not be burdened by truth. It only confuses and empowers them.
"And the media, to my mind and obviously yours, should disseminate what the state wants to disseminate. Truth? Again, overrated. You have done well in this area. Most journalists in your country have capitulated to your will.
"If there is wrongdoing, I approve that you know you must stay silent, that any evidence must be hidden, or lost or its production stonewalled.
"I watched your Congressional hearings on the IRS and other scandals. You beat the heck out of that Tea Party and those conservatives who wanted to throw a monkey wrench into your transformation of America.
"Together with your attorney general and your liberal supporters placed in strategic positions in your government, you threw a monkey wrench right back at them!
"You overrode the will of the people on immigration and healthcare. Good for you!
"Now the people will grovel to the government for affordable healthcare.
"Now you will have more voters for your party from these immigrants and I hear you are approving even more of them to stay, and doing it in the wake of your Ebola debacle. Good timing!
"The people will not even notice what you are doing, so frightened have you made them with the threat of a deadly disease at their door!
"Open borders are a no-no in our closed society, but I can see how useful a tool it can be to achieve certain goals in your country.
"I agree with overriding the wishes of the people as you do. Perhaps you will get to the point as in my country when you will not even consider the people, not even for votes.
"But you are on the right track. Even when the polls are against everything you do, you ignore them and Congress and circumvent your Constitution and all of your laws. Now that’s the way to go!
"My leaders could have told you that years ago, but at least you listened to your father in these matters as I read in your book about him.
"Here is where I think you could use my help.
"Stop the fundraising. If you do as we do, put only one name on the ballot, you wouldn’t have to fundraise to win any elections!
"Secondly, do not allow yourself to lose face. That is very bad. This week a bunch of people walked out on you at a rally for a Democratic candidate in Maryland. Just walked out. While you were talking.
"If you did not have a two-party system, your supporters would never be able to insult you in this fashion, distancing themselves from you. You wouldn’t need any of them!
"And thirdly, I think you should stop with the golf. You make yourself look foolish kicking out your skinny legs when the ball goes where you want it to! I do think it’s cool when you golf at the times when serious things occur, like after beheadings and Ebola outbreaks, though!
"Instead, here is what I recommend: do basketball. Dennis Rodman says you like the game and I do, too. He’s a little odd, dressing the way he does, but a nice enough guy. We don’t have that in our country, but to each his own… If it’s in your country.
"Now, I’m not promising you a rose garden.
"I know this is tough on you. It has been on me, too. I feel like a victim much of the time, but then I get rid of someone I don’t like and I feel better. You know what I mean. I’ve seen you do that by using your IRS and your legal system to quiet the discordant voices.
"And finally I, like you, am the subject of international disapproval, me because of my nuclear weapons testing which I promised not to do. The international disapproval for you? Well, I think the world just sees you as a weak leader because of your foreign policy responses to Syria and ISIS and a lot of other stuff.
"Not so good for you, but great for us! No, I’m just kidding.
"So my advice to you is to hang in there. You may be misunderstood by those who don’t realize what you are trying to accomplish. But, for me, well, I’m right on your page!”
Hold the line, America.