By: Linda Case Gibbons
Is it New Year’s Eve celebratory sounds? No. It is the sound of President Obama’s White House telephone ringing with calls from the country’s credit card company in China reminding him that he owes a lot and that although he has managed to make the rich "pay their fair share” with a twisted-arm-tax- hike, it’s still not enough. He can only make his minimum payment.
Pay down the principle, ChinaCard asks? Not an option. Minimum payment’s too high, Mr. President, especially when you keep on using that old card.
But try not to worry, Mr. P. You can count on some dough coming in from all those taxes that were just passed, right? So you’ve got that to fall back on.
And since you have a little cushion, why not use that blank check to reward yourself? You came home early from your vacation. Go back! It’s only another $3 million added to the $4 million it cost when you took off for Hawaii at Christmas, then came back to Washington, then went back today.
And, ChinaCard says, we don’t really care, Mr. P. Go on! Spend! We love it. After all, that’s why we’re in this business!
Sure, you could have let Joe handle the Fiscal Cliff negotiations. Who wouldn’t feel good about that? But you took it on the chin and came back to save middle class Americans from that cliff. You kept your campaign promise, just like you said. I think it was one you made more to yourself, to tax the rich, to redistribute, but no mind.
And maybe taxes will go up a teensie on most of Americans and maybe that first campaign promise about transparency and lobbyists…Well, never mind. How can you do business with keeping promises like that?
And do not feel bad, Mr. P. We’ve seen this all before. Not a problem. College kids that are entrusted with their parents’ credit card soon realize that there’s plenty of cash to be had. What do kids know from credit? And it always works out. The parents take responsibility. The bill gets paid.
So work up the numbers on the plane today, see what you have available to spend. Just take out pad and pencil and add up the figures. And if it doesn’t cover what you spend, it’s okay. We’ve got your back.
First of all there are those taxes that you just passed. There’s that. Taxes went up for about 77 percent of ordinary folk. You have the Social Security payroll taxes that will come in from them, about $500 for anyone making between $40,000 and $50,000. And then there’s an average of about a $1,600 increase for most of them with salaries between $50,000 and $200,000. So that’s good.
Then you’ve got the big stuff on the one percent top-earners. Those who make above $400,000 will be subject to increased income, capital gains, dividends and estate taxes, that’s about $74,000 more in taxes from each of them when you add it all up.
So you have a couple of streams of income from both those rich guys and then about 77 percent of the middle class. That’ll help balance the budget. Oh, that’s right. There is no budget. Well, really, it all seems to be working, so who needs a stinking budget?
And then you can add in about $500 billion in tax hikes from Obamacare. It’s spread over ten years, but you can probably use a lot of it now. Sometimes fuzzy math is the best math.
And don’t forget, unemployment benefits were extended and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program and that is the very best economic stimulant. So you have that money pouring in – after it pours out.
You probably could have tackled chipping away at that national debt thing, with spending cuts during the Fiscal Cliff crisis, but it was probably best to leave that alone. Besides, as Mayor Rahm Emanuel has always said, don’t let a good crisis go to waste, and to be fair, time was short.
And it probably looks worse than it is. We know when you look at a trillion dollars, there are twelve places. Wow! It looks bad, but how are you supposed to get things done as president without money? There was "stuff" that needed to be paid for, right?
We know, we know. These issues could have been handled earlier, such as during the presidential campaign, but who wants to open that can of worms and besides it’s more fun when there’s a deadline, isn’t it?
These same issues were there at that time, in fact there were plans sitting on Speaker Reid’s desk from the Republicans back in May, but he didn’t introduce them to the Senate. Like we said, it’s all much more fun when there’s a deadline.
Now don’t forget about raising the debt ceiling. I know you’ve said you won’t negotiate about that. That’s good. So in late February, early March, you have that windfall to count on.
We think you’re doing fine. Because you called it right. The Republicans folded on the Fiscal Cliff just as you wanted them to and you made them look foolish with abandoning a 20-year policy of not raising taxes. Good for you.
You know that it’s all about playing groups against each other. How else would you get what you want? We’ve been doing it in China for centuries.
And don’t worry about your credit rating. Sure, we know, it slipped from an AAA high to AA+ this year, but we heard you pooh-pooh that when it happened and you were right! You said in your mind and in Warren Buffett’s, the U.S. warranted an AAAA, if there was such a thing. And we agree. The more your country falls in ratings, the more we’ll be there for you. That’s when interest rates go up.
And after all, if a B+ rating is good enough for Kenya, isn’t a AA+ good enough for the United States after all the grief your country has caused to Third World countries?
So relax, Mr. President. You earned a break in your old "home town.”
Hau ‘ oli Makaiki Hou, Mr. President!
Hold the line, America.