"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.” Woody Allen
September 25, 2013
By: Linda Case Gibbons
He looked like he was in an "alternative profession” when he came to the meeting. He wore lots of gold, dressed very dapper, sported a pinkie ring and brought some "friends” along with him. They stood behind him and watched with interest what was going on in the room.
During our interview I found his views on politics and world events refreshing, to say the least.
"Let us use an example from a field of which I have no knowledge, you understand,” he remarked, snapping his fingers, summoning an espresso from one of his body guards…I mean friends.
"Back in the day, at least you knew where you stood with people, like Willie "The Actor” Sutton, let's say. He was a crook and he never denied it. You know what I’m sayin?
"Willie was quiet, a gentleman, but when he talked, he was very quotable. He didn’t run off at the mouth like some people today, like that U.N. thing the other day. You get my drift?”
I did.
"Here’s a for instance. Willie said he robbed banks ‘because that’s where the money is.’ That’s beyoooutiful! He had a way with words that guy!
"And he said the guns he carried – I believe he favored the Thompson submachine gun, what’choo would know as a Tommy gun -- these "tools of the trade,” is the nomenclature I prefer to use -- Willie said were never loaded because ‘somebody might get hurt.’ I admire that in a crook. Shows class.
"You can’t rob a bank on charm and personality, Willie used to say,” and he guffawed at this, but soon collected himself, munching on a cannoli and slurping down some of his coffee.
"Delizioso,” he said, pointing at the pastries. "Have some of these sent to Gino. He’ll love them.
"But I digress. Let me make it crystal clear. We all have our "modus operandis,” our "calling card” if you will, when we do what we do. Willie liked to dress up in disguises, this is true, postman, maintenance worker, not the genre I would choose, but he liked it. So be it.
"But he never lied about who he was under that disguise. It was just him doin’ business. He was who he was and he took his medicine like a man when it was time to go up the river. He wasn’t no slouch. In current parlance, Willie was ‘transparent.’
"Not like that lady in the IRS who chickened out and took the Fifth then quit so she wouldn’t get the axe. Retired with a pension, I might add. Who’s in charge of that? Carmine? Who’s in charge? The president, right? Yeah. Terrible.
"Now by the same token, I won’t lie to ya’. Willie wasn’t no Robin Hood, neither. He robbed from the rich and he kept it.
Whadda’ ya’ expect? You want him to be some kinda’ sap, steal it then give it to the poor? Nobody does that!
They might say they’re giving to the poor, but these guys, the ones in Washington, they’re no Mother Teresas! Fugeddabout it! They’re not givin’ to the poor! If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell ya’.
"Ask the people you elected. Take that head honcho on the Supreme Court! They take from yous what they call "taxes” while all the while they’re operatin’ like us, but,” he held up a ring-adorned pinkie, "without being honest about it. If ya’ stealin’, get a pair and admit it. Pardon my French,” he smiled, then continued.
"When we shake someone down, they know it. We don’t call it ‘healthcare! Right, Carmine? ” Carmine agreed.
"And after we’re done, we got some money to show for it. If you can’t run your business at a profit, what good are you?
"We make some from various and sundry businesses, we keep some back, pay off whomever, but we have some left. It’s what’s called being a responsible businessman!
How much is left over from all these taxes we get taxed with? And let me make it clear, I pay my taxes! That’s where Capone went wrong. Anyhow, what’s left? Nothin’! All that money from all those taxes and we’re in debt? Now that don’t sound right, does it? Somethin’s wrong,” he said, shaking his head.
"Willie was a man of dignity and very well liked, for a criminal. I have it from very good sources that Willie never robbed a bank when a woman screamed or a baby cried. I admire that. Shows character. Not like the goons I see in Washington, I might add.
"Supersillious con men, that’s what they are.
Is that the word I’m lookin’ for? Yeah, I thought so. I like to use one new word a day. I don’t use no words like "stuff” and "folks” like I hear in these speeches the president gives. I didn’t go to no Harvard or the like, but I know how the cookie crumbles, you know? I wasn’t born yesterday.”
"Anyhow to get back to Willie. I am told it was the opinion of many back then that Willie made other bank thieves like James and Dillinger look like amateurs. And amateurs don’t get the job done.
"Take what we’re seein’ in Washington. Like that Benghazi thing. What’s going on with that? You leave people to die and you never pony up?
"When you’re the boss, you act like a boss, right? And that lady, the blonde, yeah, right, the secretary, Clinton, she had nothin’ to say about it! And, by the way, what’s up with those pant suits, huh?” He laughed and his "friends” did, too.
"Every time you turn around, someone’s let off the hook. Very bad way to operate,” he said, shaking his finger. "You lose respect and you’re done. You pardon this one from the IRS, a couple of Black Panthers, then the four schmos workin’ for the State Department. I tell you, it doesn’t look good and it smells even worse.
"See, the way I see it is ya’ gotta’ have standards. You don’t chase some guy who is your ‘enemy’ and try to shake his hand like the other day at the U. N. It ain’t dignified.
"You don’t know the guy hates ya’? You don’t know he’s talking out of both sides of his mouth? Come on! How do you think that looks for a boss to do that? Like you don’t know your…uh, rear from your elbow.” He shook his head and blew on his new cup of coffee before taking another sip.
"I like that guy, whatshisname, who was quoting Green Eggs and Ham the other day and talkin’ for 21 hours. Showed spunk. I like that. He stands for somethin’. That’s nice. He’s from Texas. Nice state, not as good as Jersey, but whatever,” he finished waving his hand.
"Look, I’ll tell you what’s wrong, and I’ll even wrap it up with a little bow on it for you. These guys you elected, they don’t respect the law. Now I’m not sayin’ I do, true, but I respect the Constitution of the United States of America.” He pointed at the flag pin on his lapel.
"To be fair, the Fifth Amendment has come in pretty handy for me personally from time to time, so of course, I am very respectful.
But not the bozos in D.C. And I’ll tell ya’ why. Because too many of them are lawyers, which is to say, if I may say so, they know their way around the law. You see it, right? When’s the last time that guy in the driver’s seat at the White House respected the Constitution? Answer? Never. I rest my case.
"But, enough of this talk. It’ll all shake out. What goes around comes around, I always say.”
He shook my hand and with his overcoat elegantly draped over his shoulders, said, "Hey. Let’s do lunch. Have your people call my people.”
And with that he left, but when he did, he left behind the distinct impression that there was honor among thieves, somethin’ that bunch in Washington is sorely lacking.
Hold the line, America.