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A Frog's View of Life

December 11th, 2013 11:45 pm

I don’t know if you believe in Christmas, or if you have presents underneath a Christmas tree. But if you believe in love, that will be more than enough for you to come and celebrate with me. For I have held the precious gift that love brings, even though I never saw a Christmas star. I know there is a light. I have felt it burn inside, and I have seen it shining from afar.” Kermit the Frog, The Christmas Wish, The Muppets and John Denver


December 11, 2013


          He never held office. He never led an army. He did not have much in the way of possessions, but he was loved by many.

          This solitary frog.

          Kermit. He was a strong romantic who believed. You name it and if it was right and good, he was for it. He definitely stood for something.

          So when I heard his Christmas song today, I was reminded what a fine and principled frog he was. He represented a happier, more innocent time for us.

          You know him as the harried stage manager who tried to make order out of the chaos created by the Muppets.
 
          Maybe you read his best seller, "Before You Leap: A Frog’s View of Life’s Greatest Lessons.”
 
          And everyone has enjoyed his song, the Rainbow Connection, which reached No. 25 on the Billboard charts.
 
          But he is also remembered as a cracker-jack reporter who interviewed many story book characters and historic personalities for Sesame Street News, gaining fame with his fast breaking news stories.
 
          Yes, he was the frog who blew the lid off the Jack and Jill caper. Interviewing a variety of people (and animals) who might accompany Jack up the hill, he was able to capture that moment in time when Jill put her foot down and refused to "fetch a pail of water” with Jack again.
 
          She knew how it had always ended in the past, although Jack, in the interview anyway, seemed surprised.
 
          A natural born leader, humble and a stickler for truth in reporting and apolitical to a fault, this frog would make a great anything, even president.
 
          He respected the First Amendment and was a true journalist, telling the real story no matter what. And his news agency respected him. They never fired him for telling the truth about controversial subjects.
 
          As a reporter, he was bold and courageous. He didn’t hide the truth about Jack and Jill. And when Rapunzel
couldn’t "let down her hair” because she was bald, he didn’t hide the truth.
 
          Sure, Prince Charming was turned off, but that’s what happens when truth in reporting hits the airwaves.
 
          There are consequences. That doesn’t happen very often any more.
 
          I don’t think Kermit would have accepted limited access to the White House for his photographer the way the White House Press did. Only guessing, of course.
 
          And I think he definitely would have taken on Jay Carney when Carney laughed at the lack of access. Some things are funny, but that isn’t, not to a real journalist.
 
          I believe Kermit would not have spared the horses to find out how the Ninth Circuit could have ruled for removal of a cross from a veteran’s memorial in San Diego and why its presence there could be unconstitutional.
 
          He’d wade in, yes, he would. After all, he’s the frog that interviewed such luminaries as George Washington’s father when little George cut down that tree.
 
          With skillful interviewing and perseverance, Kermit uncovered the fact that truth won out with George and his dad.
 
          Little George told the truth and his father forgave him for cutting down one of his 1776 trees, illustrating the fact that telling the truth not only feels good, but makes for good press.
 
          We don’t get to see enough of that today, but that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t tell the truth.
 
          And in Kermit’s interview with a shattered Humpty Dumpty, he spared none of the details about Mr. Dumpty’s condition.
 
          There were no secrets, no subterfuge, nothing but good reporting.
 
          And he was happy to have the job he had. He did his job. He showed up. And he didn’t make excuses for anything.
 
          He was a little scattered in his coverage, sure, ordering a pepperoni pizza when he didn’t realize the microphone was on, but reporting makes a guy hungry.
 
          At least he didn’t make the "open mike” faux pas of assuring Russian President Medvedev that he’d have more flexibility on missile defense after the election.
 
          Or praising Obamacare as the best "expletive deleted” deal like the vice president.
 
          Kermit doesn’t do much reporting nowadays, not since his pal, Jim, passed away. But I bet he keeps up with the news.
 
          Take Obamacare, for instance. Kermit has to be concerned.
 
          As a tadpole in the swamp, he revealed that he had 3,265 brothers and sisters. Healthcare for that many people! Wow! Maybe that’s why the Obamacare website keeps crashing.
 
          And since he was big on numbers, counting Columbus’ ships in his "Columbus Discovering America” coverage and reminding Columbus that it was 1492 and he’d best be on his way; counting down to 1o’clock in his Hickory, Dickory, Dock expose, I can only assume he would be interested in the recent budget vote and that he would look into Nancy Pelosi’s comment on the subject, where she was heard urging Democrats to "embrace the suck.”
 
          But I don’t think the House Minority Leader’s comments would meet the standards of Sesame Street News.
 
          Actually, it didn’t meet my standards, but then again, who am I?
 
          Yes, Kermit would make a good anything. Even though it wasn’t easy for him, being green and all, and having to wear that collar to hide the seam between his neck and head, he still troopered on, never complaining and certainly not turning frogs against frogs.
 
          He wasn’t that kind of a guy.
 
          And you know, come to think of it, this I am sure of, if he was our president I know he would never take a "selfie” of himself at anybody’s funeral.
 
          And I am sure he certainly wouldn’t flirt at anybody’s funeral, especially not Nelson Mandela’s.
 
          Miss Piggy wouldn’t like it.
 
          Hold the line, America.
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